hotels and the Brits

So here I am, Bank Holiday Monday, and trying to write a report I need to email my PA tonight so I can have a relatively uninterupted week ahead. But I just can't seem to get to it..........

I'm off to Matlock in Derbyshire (UK) tomorrow to launch a sales and marketing suite. Did I ever tell you all what the new job was?? Hmmm, let's see how long it takes for someone to guess correctly.....!

It's torrential rain here in Surrey, England and I am told that it will be still bucketing down when I drive up tomorrow morning. And it's gonna rain all week. Great.

At least it was sunny when I launched the site in Maidstone, Kent last week. I just hope the hotel is reasonable. On holiday I can put up with many things but when I'm working I need certain things around me to make me feel rested and ready to fight another day.

All hotel rooms in the UK should have the following as standard
- Cotton wool balls
- Shower cap
- Conditioner (I paid £119 for an executive suite, inc breakfast, and I think these first 3 are basic requirements)
- Good lighting in the bathroom (not forgetting a mirror I can see in without the need of a chair to stand on...)
- Good shower spray pressure
- Hot water
- Ability to sit on the bed and see the TV without having to sit at weird angles retaining a cricked neck
- More than 6 TV channels (and I don't mean more 'adult' channels)
- Room service ( a decent 'cuppa' is sooo important, I just don't want a mini carton portion of milk substitute..)
- Windows that open more than 2" (we won't all jump out of them..)
- Air conditioning, now that we are engulfed by global warming

I am soooo excited to see what's on offer next week...............

You Americans would be horrified at us pompous Brits. You'd never put up with it.........

I loved my 'Tour of America' and can't wait to come back I just think that to make it absolutely perfect, give an all inclusive price on things. You have to pay it anyway so why can't you just give the final price?

Family Sunday's

It's a sunny, but not that hot, Sunday afternoon here in Surrey in the UK. I am I have returned to my role as Domestic Goddess. The oven is piping hot as rhubarb, apple and juice of an orange with oaty crumble topping is cooking on one shelf and free range organic chicken breasts slowly infuse with sieved tomatoes, root vegetables and herbs on another. Sounds yummy, and in fact smells really tempting, just not too sure how it'll turn out as, I am in fact, a Domestic Diva.

Its just a load of stuff I 'found' in the cupboard and fridge that went into pots under the guise of a casserole and crumble so that I can feed the family shortly. I invited them over without any thought to feeding them

'Mum, if we're all coming over are you going to cook something'

Oh no, there's nothing in

'Err, well, um...did you want something to eat here?'

'Well yeah if that's okay, we love your dinners'

'What were you planning to eat anyway today'

NOTHING ACTUALLY

.....rushing into the kitchen, searching cupboards, fridge and freezer

'Chicken'

Phew some carrots

'Oooh, yum, what sort of chicken'

Great a jar of passata

'Probably Chicken Puglia with erm....'

Phew that sounds vaguely Italian

'With vegetables'

Relief, broccoli and broad beans

'Are you doing a pudding?'

Cupboard door slams

'Shit!'

'You okay?'

'Yeah yeah, just getting out the .......FLOUR. Yes, just getting out the flour'

'Oooh does that mean a pie?'

'.....of a fashion.....'

Hmmm few sticks of rhubarb that'll do

'Fabulous, see you in an hour and a half....'

Oh crickey!

So here I sit, all Diva'd out, as I enjoy the birds swooping in to eat their food I put on little bird tables daily. Calm before the storm.

Ah well if the food is ghastly maybe the birds, squirrels and foxes will appreciate it..................

post script

This is one of my favourite pictures from my Hawaii (How do you spell it??) Birthday Party - you know - the big five 0!!

Elaine is in the foreground - she has just returned from a trip to Egypt and had a bit of trouble with her legs but was determined to come. I was so happy to see her, she's fabulous.

In the background is Neil, my surrogate Dad and pastor who has spent much of his, and indeed my life, encouraging me to embrace Christianity. It's just my darn will that gets in the way.......

On the TV right now is, 'Never Mind The Full Stops' (BBC 4). How fabulous dahlings. A programme all about grammar, language, dialect etc.

Hurrah for keeping it alive.........

Ahem, am actually supposed to be writing a blinking report but well.......need a break....it is Sunday evening after all. Not that this report should have been issued Friday before last comes as any of the reasons why I just can't sleep these days......

A life of domestic bliss

Rushing into the lift (elevator) in Sainsbury's (supermarket) tonight I began the wonderful drifty feeling I get early in on a Friday night knowing that, even though I would wake at 6am the next day, I could roll over and snuggle up for however long I wanted. (Usually manage 1.5hrs!) This gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that I stretch out for as long as I can.

Reaching over and pressing button '1' to the car park, I knew I was smiling. Big wide smiling. My week had been very up and down and tonight was all mine, just mine. Mine.

Drat

Ouch

A trolley jabbed its way into the lift with a jabbery chattery woman attached

Big drat

My poor legs felt the tip of the jabby trolley

Big ouch.....

Nothing must spoil tonight. I decide to be helpful:

'What floor would you like?'

'Well what floor are you going to?'

What the hell does it matter and why should I tell you???

'One'

Oh I really am British aren't I???

'Yes that's right'

Uh??!!

'I beg your pardon?'

'I'M going to the first floor'

'Oh I see'

Well no I don't really

'Thought the lift might be closed '

riiiight

'Oh I guess they have to to stop the kids playing in the car park and lift during the night when the shops are closed'

'Of course, are you stupid?!'

I'm standing there as if someone has slapped me round the face 6 times with a big fat flat fish as the lift (elevator) doors open and Brusque Tall and Manly Woman (BTaMW) hangs onto her desperate trolley as it crashes out of the door into the car park .......and over my toes.

Humungus 'ouch'..........

'Excuse me?'

clankle clankle

'I beg your pardon madam'

BTaMW has stopped by her car and is opening the boot (trunk)

'I'm sorry, excuse me'

BTaMW continues to hurl her minimally packed shopping bags out of the clanky jabby trolley into the boot (trunk) as she utters:

'Get away from me'

'Erm, no, sorry, I need, no I must, tell you that you jabbed your trolley at me twice and ran over my feet with it'

'And your point is?'

And, well, what is my point

'Well, erm, I....'

'AND!'

'Well 'and' it hurt'

Clank the boot shuts.

'Your point is'

BTaMW pushes her clanky now cranky trolley away from her and her oversized BMW car

'Well, it hurt'

Crash....!

'Yes you said'

I turn and see the cranky trolley has crashed and burned into a very shiny silver VW Golf. A very new VW Golf

BTaMW is getting into her car as I turn to the VW Golf. It looks so like the lovely one I gave up to ride America.......

A man comes out of the lift and towards the VW Golf. He sees the trolley embedded in one of the doors. VW Golf Man (VWGM) looks at me.

I sigh back at him

BTaMW lowers her window and shouts:

'I saw her shove her trolley into your car, the f*^#ing b#*^h'

BTaMW's car squeals out of the car park.........

I stand open mouthed with my 2 bags of shopping

VWGM strides over to me. His face looks contorted

'Ah, now look, this isn't quite what you think.....'

Shit

I click my heels three times and repeat "I want to be in Kansas"

Uh oh. That didn't work

I look down. I have my Merrills on. That'll be it then, not wearing my red shoes.

In a flash I realise that they could work just as good and I sprint to the car, get in, lock it and squeal out of the car park.....

So I'm sitting here at home with no drifty feeling, praps a big glass of wine will help.........hic

!

Just cos I can......

oops

Oh the joy of an Internet connection!

Do you ever have a feeling that you should be somewhere else? I'm getting that a lot right now.....

I'm back.....

Hurrah! I have a working Internet connection.......

I am also recovering from my birthday weekend. I had a simply wonderful time and will catch up with you all very soon.

Gawd haven't I been saying that for a while........

Thought you might want to see the most scrummy gorgeous male at my party........ The Boy!!And a gorgeous photo of me chatting to Em and Bev.

A really gigantic 'thank you' to all of my wonderful friends and family that navigated traffic and more on a Bank Holiday to come and celebrate my significant birthday. You made it a very special day.

More photos and many tales soon! xxx