Diary of a Bag Lady

O H M Y G O D......

Is this really what I want, what I really really want?????

Wherever I lay my hat that's my home. Fuck me, if only those that have sung that only knew what they were talking about.

I have 4 effing hat boxes with 5 absurdly expensive hats in that won't fit in anyone's home at the moment.

By the weekend I WILL have rationalised all that's left of my previous life and be the proud owner of one suitcase of possessions. Then and only then will I be able to lay my dark blue velvet hat anywhere I have to call home.


Please tell me this gets easier.....pleeeeease

Homeless and tearful

It's happened. I'm officially homeless........

I was given a few days to vacate the house and managed it. Well I say I managed it. I actually managed it with the help and support of some wonderful people.

I am, you must understand, a person that likes to surround herself with lovely things. Lovely shoes, clothes, saucepans, fabrics, cutlery, china, tablecloths, books..... Now to pack a crammed to the hilt 3 bedroom place into a box within a few days, and work, is impossible. Well for me anyway.

Travelling Companion drove down from somewhere up the A1, accompanied by his girlfriend's son, to endure a day of packing, lugging, storing and dealing with me. He was I have to admit, bloody fantastic and never stopped from the minute he got there til the minute he left. I really could not have done it without him and his support will remain in my heart forever.

Standing in the doorway of my room in The Big Yellow Box storage company, I really felt very tearful as my entire life was now squished to fit a 100sq ft. Am I really doing the right thing?????

Too late now, it's done and the next stage is yet to overcome.......

Cowardly custards

Oh yeah, and why oh why are men all effing cowards ??

All I ever fucking well wanted was a backbone and a man to hang it on.............

Effing hell

Good Lord, I am now moving within the next few days. Bloody Landlord!

Went into a bit of a tail spin earlier but regrouped and will just do the best I can.

Feel like leaving a month earlier. Not sure why I don't at this point. Was it just money that was putting off the date til 6 April?? Can't think, bit fuzzy.

Can't I just slip away on a flight from Gatwick tonight.......

Hardly worth a mention

I hate to confess but I have opened 2 boxes packed and labelled by the wonderfully organized Karen L. Don't tell her though......

Not moving til 22 Feb now

Lovely time with The Date Friday, fun time Saturday with Nat and family then old friend Saturday night. Famous Five lunch today. Night in with the tele and packing boxes now in pj's. Only decision is whether to have a Horlicks or Camp coffee..........

I sincerely hope that this life I have on hold will burst into vibrancy once again

Fag hag

I just love having gay men dress me. I feel fab!!

Get thee behind me

Rain, drizzle, work, drizzle.......want to be on a plane......

Hollywood nights

Okay so my bum probably did look big in the jeans and the red heels on the cobble streets of Brighton were a bit foolish and even when The Date took me for a gentle stoll on the Pier after a scrummy French meal, I managed a smile as I caught sight of Worzle Gummidge staring back at me in the reflection of the glass at the hot doughnut stall. Arriving back home I turned to The Date and as I was about to get out of the car and thank him for a lovely evening, I felt a skip of delight as The Date grinned broadly and said he was looking forward to the next time.

Standing in the bathroom I searched for a Sex Goddess who could capture mens hearts to sultrily reflect in the mirror..........horrors upon horrors...... Alice Cooper stood before me!

The wind and sea breeze had morphed my eye make up into something out of a horror movie and the sleek and shiny hair looked like a ghoulish '80's backcombed Popstress.

So you can imagine my utter amazement that The Date texted me today to hope all was going well with the packing and was looking forward to meeting up again soon.

I was thinking of ditching the hair straighteners and going straight for a '60's beehive and heavy eyeliner for the next date, what do ya think............

When is a date not a date...?

I came home today to find Lil Sis had packed away the entire contents of my home in well organized boxes. All are packed perfectly, clearly labelled and an inventory duly drawn up.

She is fabulous, just fab!

Oh yeah and it leaves me clear to dash out the door now for a 'hot date'....... God this had better be worth the effort after the working week, packing and stress of being homeless in a few days.

Sort of wish I could dispatch Lil Sis to do the date and just give me an overview in the morning so I know whether to be pleased or disappointed. She'd be brilliant!

Goddamn, should I wear the red heels or the black. And I just KNOW my bum looks big in this......

A quick burst

In the drizzle and roads awash with absentminded Mother's in 4x4's, it took me 1hr and 27mins to travel 13.5 miles North. What in Fanny's Aunt is that all about???? Why am I really still in the UK? It's absurd.

I could have so easily turned around and drove back 'home' to pick up my travel bag of 7 pair of pant things, 2 bras, 1 tee shirt and 1 pair of shorts and jumped on a plane to begin my adventure. 'Cept I effing well couldn't, the 4x4's, Peugot, BMW & Mercedes Estates were clogging up the road South as well. Can't all those poor darling children walk??????

I felt trapped and angry, and my heart was definitely heavy.

Clear skies appeared and before I knew it I was enjoying the day.

no offence meant

No no, I'm here, at work and it's drizzling in typical British fashion. Aaaaagh

GMTV said this morning that this day was the most depressing day of the year. Apparently with everyone having had the Christmas break, spent lots of money and bad weather.

Well it's the bad weather that gets me everytime.

Ooooh, things are looking up, just spotted the Builders going for tea break. Ooh how lovely. Hell no it's not politically incorrect! It's very very politically correct.

BBC London radio this morning was discussing the comment made by an MP that as a country we have gone far too far with political correctness. Why are we afraid to voice our opinions in case we are branded racist, homophobic, ageist sizeist, etc.? Shouldn't it be that we are afraid to voice our opinions because we know they are offensive? Surely that way we learn that our behaviour is unacceptable.

Ah ha, there go those builders again, aaahhhh.......

Is this like God?

Oh no. No no no. It's back to work tomorrow. I don't want to.

I want to be on my trip.........

Actually I'm getting just a little anxious as I am soon to become 'homeless'. I just hope that Goethe was bloody well right.....huge.....really huge leap of faith going on here..............

Tanie's New Year

A very happy New Year to one and all

I hope that 2006 brings everything that you wish and hope for. Remember, follow your dreams.

Greed is NOT good. Not on any level.

Take a moment to bring to the surface the dreams you have locked away. You can do them. It doesn't have to be something as dramatic as singlehandedly sailing the Atlantic, it can be to lose weight, to speak to estranged family members, to change jobs, to start your own business, to leave that abusive partner, to learn to drive, to commit to a relationship, to own a diamond ring, to let your hair go grey or even to put pink icing on your fairy cakes instead of white.........

Goethe wrote:

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans, that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise not have occured. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would come their way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, do it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

Begin it now.