City desk

How's your week going?

Me, well even though I try to have a gentle time, I always seem to end up with a few ups and downs.

Last weekend was good, Saturday early morning was given over to 2 hours of hot steaming mugs of tea, an array of trashy magazines, the beginnings of a new novel (no, reading not writing!) and all snuggled up in bed under the duvet, strewn with pillows and cushions. Bliss...

Took Simon L over to Miss X's to collect my motorbike. Thank you Simon. No fuss, no bother, just collected and deposited in new home, courtesy of Fletch. What a surprise that was. No not Fletch but his home. Preparing myself for a bachelor pad of beer cans, car parts and rancid milk cartons I was greeted with a well developed garden housing a quirky mural and an interior that has received a lot of effort, hard work and design. Now there may very well have been beer cans, car parts and rancid milk cartons but they were clearly filed or stored away. This man has talents as a carpenter, an electrician, a plasterer AND he's creative, generous and kind, phew girls, best of all, he's currently single! Form an orderly queue please and remember on this occasion I'll waive the 10% introductory fee........

Saturday night I taxied a couple of young school children to a party. Typical mischeivous kids though, giggling and chatting away in the car. When I dropped them off I did smile when I saw the young lad in his short trousers with one sock disappearing down to his ankle exposing the plaster on his knee. And the wee lassie looked very cute as her bunches bobbed away as she caught up with the lad and he turned and walked into the party with her. As the young girl stood just inside the front door I did chuckle as I saw her tug at the bottom of her dress, trying to cover up her legs. They did look so sweet and were so polite thanking me for their lift. Glad you had a good time at the Harley Davidson Start of Season Ball Mr & Mrs Levescont........

My hip is a lot better today. Hmmm, have I mentioned there was a problem?? Anyway, pain not so bad and had blood taken yesterday. I have to wait 10 days for the results. Seems an awfully long time to me. Is that what I have to expect now I'm at the mercy of the National Health again? All those years of paid health plans and not used, ah well.

We have The Bill filming at Abbey Mills again this week. No dahlings, I'm not rushing around in my Manolo's and red lippie. No really! It is after all a tele soap thing and not Johnny Depp, Nicolas Cage or George Clooney. Do you know, the only actors that would make me go all swoony would be Burt Lancaster and Fred Astaire. Well, if they were alive and in their prime, naturally.

Mother's Day was simply wonderful. I really do have the most Darling Daughter. Among the many gifts she gave me was a wonderful photograph album and lots and lots of new pictures of The Boy. Oooh I can't stop looking at his pictures. I got to spend lots and lots of time with The Boy as well. Have I mentioned he has teeth now? His slobbery lunges at my face are peppered with little pressure points from that growing tooth of his. Alex is very tolerant it has to be said. She also gave me a beautiful PINK suede album with loads and loads of pictures of her as a baby, including a few of me and her. She is finally building a relationship with her father and he gave her lots of old photos. I have to say it was so very special and thoughtful, thank you Darling Daughter.

Looking for anagrams: Mother in Law = Woman Hitler.......

M&S were great and delivered a perfectly, but hardly environmently friendly, boxed and wrapped bouquet of flowers to my dear Mother on Sunday. If I had my way, life would just be M&S and Fortnum & Mason's, aaaahh

Kisses and hugs to you all.......yep these pain killers are definitely working

Uri Geller

Okay, so here's how it goes. Do not, ever ever, offer someone help if you do not mean it.


I have many talents but I am not a frigging mindreader. This trip and all it entails, has brought the best and the worst out in people; friends and complete strangers alike

I'm a simple soul, always have been and if someone says they like spinach why should I doubt them? If someone says they go to bed at midnight why should I doubt them? If someone says they love chicken, again, why should I doubt them?

So why, when someone says they will help me move they don't really mean it? And why when someone says 'stay with me' they don't really mean it. Amazingly when someone says 'store your stuff at my place', they don't mean that either. How the effing hell am I supposed to know what you really mean until it's too late? And why the barstewarding hell would someone take 2 cases of my expensive wines and then want me to 'settle up' for 3 nights is beyond me.

'Help yourself to the wine in the kitchen' is very clear to me, and to Miss X judging by her bright red face and awkwardness when questioned about its disappearance. That clearly doesn't mean the case of Margaux nailed closed in a wooden box or the Pouilly Fume secured in a box in the room where my stuff was stored. ('I took it to a party' and 'my Mother drinks white wine' could only be thrown at me to hurt, and why???? ) Or maybe it does to an alcoholic or indeed to a plain spiteful person. Yes I'm angry, that'll pass, but Miss X's behaviour is embedded within her for a long time to come.

Either way it's a friendship that's ended. Just hope the wine chokes you.............

Dispatches

Last Saturday night was fun, Carnivore Fondue, Black Russians and Buzz. Karen L was the Hostess With the Mostess and Em, Bev and I were fabulously entertained. Simon L and Fletch joined us later in the evening and we all played Buzz. Some sort of music game on Playstation or something.....anyway it worked on the tele and we had controls.......bloody hilarious.

Elaine came round to see Sarah and I in the flat one night last week and we ate strong cheddar, black olives, salad leaves and pecan and raisin bread with a glass of red wine. We also tried to use the new (well secondhand actually) coffee machine. It took 3, or was it 4, of us to work out how to use it!

Ali and Roger are planning their next house move, maybe South West. Ann P is redecorating the house with a view to let out, she might have itchy feet now. Shelagh No Labels is celebrating the 5th birthday of her darling grandson, Louis. Travelling Companion is continuing to entertain me with his Adventures of Single White Male. Eve is back working in Brussels and Vinden will join her this time. CJ and Martin are getting there with the newly created kitchen, CJ is recovering from an Op. Anne M is basking in the reflection of a beautiful sparkler on her 3rd finger left hand. Darling Daughter made yummy Spag Bol and garlic bread on Sunday and Little Guy was happy for Nanna to entertain him

And hooray, Geetha (mispelt it last time as Gita) and I shared a bowl of fresh fruit, yoghurt and seeds last night and chatted as if the housework incident hadn't occured.................

Your emails, texts and comments are very welcome, keep 'em coming

To sweat or not to sweat

As a post script to last posting

When I lived on my own, or indeed with significant others, I have often undertaken housework in semi stages of undress. Why would I want to get household products all over my clothes? No I can't be bothered to wear a pinny. Besides if I want things to be clean then an ample amount of elbow grease is required which usually leads to raised temperatures.

So the question of the day:

Do girls sweat?

Housework anyone??

Housework. Who on this planet would have thought that I NEED to do housework????? I have been itching to Jiff, or rather Cif, door architraves, stair strings and sanitaryware. To Flash the kitchen floor. To Dettol the kitchen bin. To Pledge wooden window cills. To Flash -surface -cleaner -with -bleach the kitchen worktops and cupboards. To ......no, no....I can't go on......

Engaging in this foray last night about 8pm, I got completely lost in the determination and satisfaction of it all and realised one of my new flatmates had come in and was standing on the stairs.... staring open mouthed at me.

Well I knew Gita hadn't done any housework that week but I didn't think it would have been that much of a shock to see someone attempt to eradicate the limescale. I offered her a cup of tea, you know, as the British do in times of shock. (Hmmm, come to think about it I even had some sugar in the cupboard just for this type of eventuality) Gita shook her head and without uttering a word disappeared into her room. Funny girl I thought, maybe a bit shy or perhaps housework must never be undertaken at night in India, I dunno. I got back to the job at hand with a last burst of vim and vigour, made a cup of tea then went to sit in my room to watch a film. I walked past the full length mirror and glanced at my reflection, as I always feel compelled to do as I pass one. (Don't tell me you don't, I don't believe it)

I looked at my black trousers but didn't understand why they looked wrong, I glanced at my jumper. Shit...... NOOOOOOOOO...I dropped my mug of hot tea, which burnt my foot. Why did it burn my foot???

BECAUSE I WAS NAKED.........

Deliberations of a Wednesday

Okay now what did I say about this week being the start of preparations.........

Bugger.

Well, to date I've........erm......hmmm......let my hair grow sort of one length so I can tie it back in a pony tail easier......I think that does count, surely?????

ooooh you are awful...

Get up and make yourself a drink and sit back and log on to www.awfulplasticsurgery.com

It's funny, scary and entertaining all at the same time. What a hoot.
I might be sitting here scoffing at the ridiculousness of them all but what will 3 months amongst these aliens do to me?

I shall definitely post 'before' pictures shortly and perhaps we can have a few competitions along the way to spot the changes............

Far from the last supper

Oh my. Spent St David's Day eating a Brazilian Fish Supper with the Brazilians from work.

Fabulous food, excellent company. Thank you Marcia and Paula, you are dusky angels xxx