Dirty filthy pants

Talk about flights of fancies....... or should that be flights of panties........

Let me just give you all an overview of where I am today:
Working - hate it
Living - 2 bed apartment - hate it

My living circumstances are somewhat frustrating not least because since taking all my 'stuff' out of storage after returning from the States, I can't fit the damn stuff in the tiny weeny apartment. Yes yes I know get rid of it but.....well... but... but..... I CAN'T !

As I can't fit all the 'stuff' tidily away I am getting more and more distressed. So I came up with a plan.

Wear all the clothes 'stuff' then decide what to keep, what to chuck, what to ebay, what to donate etc etc.

So....... I've got as far as my knickers!

I have huge amounts of huge and tiny knickers. They're all neatly washed and stored in piles, drawers, baskets and boxes.

No seriously

Many with labels on, unworn.

What I seem to do is wear a weeks worth, wash & dry them and wear them again next week. Never getting passed the weeks worth to the other piles and piles.

2 weeks ago I decided to try a different tack, Monday I wore Bridget Jones Big Pants to work, came home changed into my track suit and put on a brightly coloured bit of sparkly dental floss to walk around the village for a small bit of exercise. I came back feeling quite sore as the label was chaffing my butt as I powerwalked. Hopped in the bath to relax and then put on a slinky French knicker and matching chemise to lounge around in til bedtime.

Since then I have tried to wear at least 3 pairs of pants (panties) each day

This is not an easy thing, especially as when I get in most nights from work I just wanna put my pj's straight on.......

So back to the panties.................

I'm making some headway into the collection and have rediscovered favourites, decided against some and still prefering Big Pants for work

As they all need hand washing I'd put them in a washing basket and decided that I would wash them all in one go so I wouldn't be tempted to return to old habits of wearing the same few pairs. Yesterday I thought I'd sort them into whites and coloureds piles on my bedroom floor. I carried on with other chores, had a cup of tea then got startled by a knock at the front door. As this is a small gated development it is a shock if the door to the apartment is knocked without a buzzer first from the front gates.

Anyway it was the Gas Man. Gas Man was old and sweaty, and here to put leak sealant in the heating system.

A day early

'Well as you're here you don't mind if I do it now'

erm are you asking or telling me??

'Em, well.....'

'won't take long love'

grrrr, I'm not your 'love'

'Right'

damn nor anyone elses at the moment...

'2 sugars love'

grrrrrrrrr

'okay but how long is 'won't take long'?

'not long, don't worry sweetheart, I'll be finished by the time I finish my tea'

gimme strength

'yeah yeah, 2 sugars right?'

dinosaur!

Armed with his tea and 2 sugars Old Sweaty Gas Man (OSGM) wandered the apartment doing whatever he had to do. I sat on the sofa trying to lose myself in irrelevant searches on Google

did you know there are 36600 results for 'snapped rubber bands'..........

'Wer - hay love, you've been busy'

OMIGOD!

I hurl the lap top on the sofa and rush into my bedroom

You know what's coming next.......

OSGM is standing with a handful of my dirty pants (panties) in his hand!

I freeze

I know I need to say something but can't think of anything appropriate

I end up with:

'this isn't what it looks like'

what?

What DOES it look like you nitwit Pink Icing lady

'Your secret's safe with me love'

What bloody secret? That I have piles of dirty pants in my bedroom? What can he mean??

'wer - hay!'

I decide I can not say or do anything that will improve the situation

I nod my head and meekly retreat into the lounge, grabbing my lap top and burying myself in Google, hoping that his tea was almost finished.

After what seems the entire day sweaty OSGM announces he's finished as he puts a handful of my 'sweaty' Big Pants, French knickers and Dental Floss on the table.

'All done'

I get up but don't catch his eye

'Good, thank you'

'I trust that's it all fixed now'

'Well your radiators should be, if you want something, well.... else, here's my number'

eeeeiow

'Thank you but I think that's all'

How was your Valentines Day????