arrested development

We had earthquakes in the UK last night. Biggest in 25 years. Not in a San Francisco sort of way but still a force.

London and Northern parts of England felt tremors

No tremors were felt here in Surrey

Not in any way.........




I have a message on my phone from a policeman asking me to call him back.
I trust there's an apology of some description to follow.

Let me explain.....

A couple of weeks ago a Russian billionaire living in the town near me was found dead, murdered. National news teams were swarming the area. It was gloriously sunny and locals were happy and wandering around in tee shirts. All except the man who decided to walk into a local bank wearing a beanie hat, glasses, a big jacket and holding a plastic bag demand the cashier put all the money at her station in the bag as he had a gun and would use it if she didn't

Generally guns aren't used in the UK. I say generally as I am discounting the gangs of 'youffs' that try to emulate the American rap stars

The cashier put all the money in the bag and handed it back. The Bank Robber, brashly confident in his success, demanded the same of the 2nd cashier. The 2nd cashier handed over his money as well.

The Bank Robber then calmly walked out of the bank, never having exposed his gun

Most of the time Leatherhead is a nothing sort of town, only made 'famous' as being Michael Caine's primary residence. Suddenly we were all catapaulted into a media frenzy.

This all happened on the Wednesday. On the Thursday 3 local papers, Surrey Police Online, bbc online and a few National papers had sensational storied about both events. Strangely enough the bank robbery being the leading story. They had 3 people they wanted to arrest and displayed bank cctv pictures of all 3.

The police were urging people to come forward to identify the men so they could arrest them.

Darling Daughter phoned me hysterical. I couldn't understand a word she was saying. I realised she was actually hysterically laughing. It turned out that one of the 'robbers' pictured was her Father!!

No I know that I divorced her Father in 1983 and hardly ever had contact with him but I was pretty sure he wouldn't commit that sort of crime. Yes I know everyone says that!

My ex husband is guilty of many things but no, not bank robbery.

I'll tell you why

He's an agrophobic and social misfit. To get him to go out is a major event and if he does go out he is very fixed on the end position and keeps his head down, not making eye contact. He wears black. All the time. We went to Africa when Darling Daughter was 6 months old and he wore heavy black trousers and long sleeved black jumpers...... His hairline is receeding considerably so shaves his head and now resembles Uncle Fester

I can see why he might look shifty!!!

After much laughter on both sides I said to DD I was actually concerned about how this would impact on her and The Boy. I could just see those snobby young Mums at playgroup excluding my darling grandson. DD told me not to be so ridiculous. DD hadn't experienced the rumourmongering and gossiping I had over the years, I had clearly protected her in some way

DD urged her Father to 'give himself up' to avoid the police breaking into his house. Actually it's his Mother's house, he lives far away but is staying with her, well nursing her as she is seriously ill and hooked up to a morphine drip. A shock like that could kill her, well and him as he's also epileptic. (gets better eh??)

Ex Husband went round to DD house on Thursday night and took a bottle of wine to get drunk as he was far too distraught and couldn't deal with it. Great. An epileptic drunk.......

Finally on Friday Ex Husband calls the police to 'give himself up'. DD calls the police to let them know who one of the bank robbers is.

So do many upstanding citizens

So do I

Except I do not leave it at that. I confirm who he is. He's my very ex husband. When they eliminate him from their enquiries I expect a full apology. Do they have any idea of the impact the iresponsible statement from the 'temporary' detective could have upon my family?

I want to ask why the detective is temporary but decide now is not the time

On Saturday afternoon Surrey Police had taken down the 'offending' page from their web site and put up a page stating they have eliminated one man from their enquiries

That's it

Nothing else

Except a phone message yesterday from some detective asking if I would call him back.

I might......

Karen H said my family really is disfunctional. I have to agree

One day I would like to have a 'normal' life....................